horror movie opening scene
white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

roboboners:

jayda95:

all-because-we-fell-in-love:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

stay in school y’all

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing

ratatit:

i aspire to get to that level of hot where my hair looks like shit and i smell like black coffee and yesterday’s eyeliner is smudged under my eyes but i still look fine as hell

charmancler:

i’ve never met nicki minaj but i trust her

icanbeyourblackdahlia:

allthingshyper:

themyskira:

dragondruids:

woahitsthatcoolkidadam:

Yo but remember when Harley Quinn basically shat on gay bashing?

Oh my god, where is this from?

That one’s from Harley Quinn #22! Harley gets killed and goes to Hell, where she hooks up with some dead buddies and proceeds to plan a jailbreak. So Hell sics this crazed demonic enforcer on her, a bounty hunter from the Old West who even in death is obsessed with finding the one man who eluded him. After said bounty hunter annoyingly foils Harley’s escape plan, Harley finally asks him: “ffs, you’re dead, why are you so obsessed with finding this guy?” and it turns out that he wants revenge against the man who “corrupted” his son, aka his son’s boyfriend. And Harley’s like, “UM, DUH, YOU HAVEN’T FOUND HIM BECAUSE HE’S NOT IN HELL YOU BIGOTED DICKHEAD.” And then Harley proceeds to cause so much trouble in Hell that she winds up being banished back to the land of the living.
Because these are just the kind of things that happen to Harley.

And then Harley proceeds to cause so much trouble in Hell that she winds up being banished back to the land of the living.
Harley raised hell IN Hell and got brought back to life because Satan probably said ‘fuck this’ and banished her.
Harley literally lives because heaven doesn’t want her and hell is afraid she might take over

Harley is queen. 

icanbeyourblackdahlia:

allthingshyper:

themyskira:

dragondruids:

woahitsthatcoolkidadam:

Yo but remember when Harley Quinn basically shat on gay bashing?

Oh my god, where is this from?

That one’s from Harley Quinn #22! Harley gets killed and goes to Hell, where she hooks up with some dead buddies and proceeds to plan a jailbreak. So Hell sics this crazed demonic enforcer on her, a bounty hunter from the Old West who even in death is obsessed with finding the one man who eluded him. After said bounty hunter annoyingly foils Harley’s escape plan, Harley finally asks him: “ffs, you’re dead, why are you so obsessed with finding this guy?” and it turns out that he wants revenge against the man who “corrupted” his son, aka his son’s boyfriend. And Harley’s like, “UM, DUH, YOU HAVEN’T FOUND HIM BECAUSE HE’S NOT IN HELL YOU BIGOTED DICKHEAD.” And then Harley proceeds to cause so much trouble in Hell that she winds up being banished back to the land of the living.

Because these are just the kind of things that happen to Harley.

And then Harley proceeds to cause so much trouble in Hell that she winds up being banished back to the land of the living.

Harley raised hell IN Hell and got brought back to life because Satan probably said ‘fuck this’ and banished her.

Harley literally lives because heaven doesn’t want her and hell is afraid she might take over

Harley is queen. 

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

somewherebetweenrageandserenity:

mind  the  g l a s s

25 things i wish i realized while i was still in highschool
  1. That zit on your cheek literally does not matter
  2. Skipping class one time will not ruin your entire life
  3. The boy you’re trying so hard to impress will mean nothing to you in a year
  4. Bring coffee to school and ignore people who make fun of it
  5. Bring a snack, too. Don’t care if people hear you eating in class.
  6. Being popular isn’t and will never be something that seriously defines who you are
  7. Appreciate your teachers
  8. Doing/not doing drugs doesn’t make you cooler than anyone else.
  9. Neither does drinking
  10. Talk to the kid sitting alone; even though it may not change your life it could drastically change theirs
  11. Participate in school events
  12. Wear sweatpants everyday
  13. Or wear a dress everyday
  14. Wear whatever makes you comfortable
  15. Nobody will laugh at you if you sit alone at your lunch table for five minutes
  16. Utilize the library
  17. Don’t wait 20 minutes to text someone back just to seem cool
  18. Tell your friends how much you love them
  19. Cherish your free textbooks… seriously
  20. Help confused freshmen, be nice to them. Remember how much you would have appreciated it a couple years ago
  21. Compliment the other girls in the bathroom
  22. That fight you had with your mom really isn’t that big of a deal
  23. It’s okay to cry
  24. Don’t let your desire for a romantic relationship stop you from forming platonic relationships
  25. Remember that life does go on

(via tomlinbooties)

konanyiffer420:

HOYL FUCK

konanyiffer420:

HOYL FUCK

vanconcastiel:

Plot twist

jackanthonyfernandez:

j5h:

when someone says “@ me next time” and the post was actually about them

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